the first sunday

had a bad night last night. i was hopping that today would never get here but it did. we also gave our pet away last night they went to a great home but they will be missed. we were unable to play with them like they needed to be so it was best.


today i got up and it hit me there was something wrong. at first i could not put my finger on it but when i did i felt really sad. I'm not really a church person thanks to my mom and dad but i really started to like going there i was learning things and for once i was not alone in class. i really like having J there with me, it was a lot of fun. but today i was really lost i did not know what to do with myself. but one good thing was we did have church at home i really liked having my hubby doing it. it was not really long but it was nice. after that we went to the park for some family time will was on the swing for the first time he had a great time. so did cam. he even got one girl to push him in the swing twice there were men there playing music that was really nice. we had lunch and let the kids play. they all had fun. we were leaving we saw 5 deer. i got some nice pics of them. one still had spots. i liked the park it was nice.

the one good thing in my life is my family. they are the best thing to ever happen to me. they love me for who i am and i love them the same way. i don't care what the church says it makes me happy and feel loved and is that not what god want for all of us? there are some people out there who never get the chance to a have that in there life's. I'm lucky to gave it in mine. my kids will never know a time of being lonely or unloved like i did as a child. they have the love of four parents in there life's and that's great.

what a week

this has been a week that i wish i could just start over. the Bishop wanted to see my hb we were hopping that it was just about this coming weekend but it was not. they fond out that we are apart of a polygamist family. so we were asked not to come to church until they have a chance to talk to others. i feel bad for my hb we both liked the church. i liked having someone to go to class with j was going and was going to be a part of the church but now she cant. i wish my mom and dad had taken me to church more when i was little i would know more now and i would not feel so lost when i do go to church.

i can understand why the church is upset but if they could see the good side of things. the first is that there is more moms to take care of the kids. there are a lot of families out there that when the kids get off school no ones home. in our home there will always be someone here for the kids. another is I'm not the only one taking care of the house and of the kids. i know who is watching my kids when I'm not home and when my sisters leave the house they know that there kids are in good hands. before i meet my hb i was alone for 15 years and when i meet my hb i told him that i did not ever want to be alone again. being in a family with more wife's I'm not alone even though I'm the stay at home mom i still have people around me. there is more love in this house than i have ever seen in a house were there was only a mom and a dad. i was an only child until i was 8 years old. my kids have kids they can play with and even learn from. i feel that all the kids in my home get all the love they need to grow and be happy in there life's. but all i can do is go on with what i feel right.